charity holds her head

A few weeks ago, on the way to catch a train in Nørreport with the boys, I came across a woman in her mid-thirties, begging. I was coming up from the metro and there she was, sitting on the top step, looking directly at me. She wore a long skirt and loose sweater, her head wrapped tightly in a scarf so that only her face was visible, and her fingers - holding out a paper cup as people passed by.

I am certainly not a stranger to this sight, but something about this woman's face made me freeze inside. She was beautiful, soft, sweet-looking; the sort of face that resonates with kindness, with deeply sorrowful eyes. She looked like she was on the verge of something, straddling the line between disbelief that she was there, begging, and resignation.

She has stayed with me since, in my mind's eye; her face, her sadness.

I have always found it difficult to walk past someone begging or sleeping in the street without stopping, even if their displacement is by choice rather than misfortune, and I have nothing to offer. As Margaret Atwood wrote in one of her novels: I am rendered helpless by the helpless. I am at a disadvantage, I know; limited, naive. I have never been without home. Sometimes I think they know these things about me, instinctively; they can see me coming and I can't avoid eye contact.

We went  to an ATM, and as we walked past her I could feel her eyes on my back - do you know that feeling? Almost like I'd just stomped out whatever hope she had left. I know I am projecting on her in saying this; perhaps she felt nothing, perhaps the expression in her eyes was all she needed to con me. I considered this, distractedly, but when I returned and handed her the money her face immediately lit up like a small child, incredulous, grateful.

Her gratitude humbled me in a deep way. What I had given her was so insignificant, so small, it felt almost undeserving of her immense thankfulness for it, if that makes sense. I walked away feeling helpless. What more could I have done? Should have done? I am confounded by this question. As a human, I feel compassion towards this woman; as a Christian, I feel responsible for her.

Should I have invited her to my home? Half an hour away by train with a complete stranger, into my studio apartment where my child sleeps? Even if she needed somewhere to go, and she may not have, would she have come with me? Should I have sat next to her and tried to talk to her, on the steps of the metro, despite the fact that I don't think she understood English? What would I have said? 

I don't know.

I said 'God bless you' in passing, and I immediately thought of that verse about telling someone to go and be warm and full without offering them the means to do so. Granted, she could buy food with the money I gave her, but this is so small in comparison to the weight of what I know, of what I am entrusted to share: the immense compassion and provision I have been shown, my salvation.

I know when I ask these questions, I am grappling with the bigger picture; that someday, when I meet my Creator, it will dawn on me in an overpowering way that this is the only thing that matters. This woman, her soul, and everyone else. I have an inkling of this now, as if I can't quite grasp it the way I know I should.

I should be blown away by the immense and obvious truth of it. 

How can I know what I know and not live a radical life? How do I live a radical life? Where should I start, if not with this woman?

Do you know?



You whose passion never fades, who will never pass away
We see the gifts You bring, how lovely, lovely
Charity holds her head in different ways than I'd imagined it, in laurels of glory
All of the things she says, I'm bound to hang my head ...

- J. Knapp
 

Wales and Ireland || 2013

May adventures : a five-day trip to Wales and Ireland with the boys. So very wet and windy, colorful and breath-taking.

Flew into Dublin and spent the night in Temple Bar, at the Barnacles hostel. I prefer hostels to hotels because it's easier to meet people, not to mention they are often cheaper.

Downtown Dublin is mostly pub, with the occasional cafe. Brick Alley was my favorite. We went in twice, and the second time I ordered a pot of their Bad Weather Tea, made with wild strawberry, orange peel, anise, and apple pieces. I want to have this tea in my someday-coffeehouse.

This man saw me holding my camera and posed for me, jokingly - I don't think he expected me to take him up on it. It was so spur-of-the-moment I didn't get it in focus, which is a shame. He was completely adorable. 

The following morning we took the rental car on the ferry to Wales. We got off at Holyhead and spent the day driving from north to south along the western coast, stopping off at little towns along the way.

I liked Newport best. It's a small village with coast and castle, a sweet lineup of stone buildings and a one-room boho cafe where we had amazing scones and jam.

Wales reminded me of the states, with a countryside not unlike Pennsylvania, a coastal region comparable to Rhode Island, weather exactly like the Pacific Northwest, and cuisine of the deep South. And more sheep than I have ever seen.

Snowdonia was incredible.

We spent the night in Aberystwyth (tongue-twister), and drove to Fishguard the following day to meet the ferry : back to Ireland. 

The ferry dropped us off in Rosslare, and from there we drove to Lisdoonvarna (detouring all the way to Galway and back, lost). Isaac is a natural at the roadtrip thing, which is good because this won't be our last (or our longest).

I loved Doolin. It's a coastal village near the cliffs of Moher with a bit of a creative vibe.

We started our morning at the Doolin Cafe. If I lived near this cafe, I would love breakfast. It would be so much more than just coffee. The cafe walls are covered in beautiful color linocuts by local artist Michael O'Connor. I also want these in my someday-coffeehouse.

Next we hopped a ride on The Happy Hooker ferry-meets-fishing-boat to the Aran Islands.

We stopped off at Inis Mór, the biggest of the three, and took Noel Mahon's bus tour around the island. This was perfect for two reasons: we got to see the entire island in just a few hours, stopping off at Dún Aonghasa to visit the cliff-side stone fortress, and we were able to hear the history of the island in Noel's beautiful Irish accent, with his humorous side-commentary. In short: approximately 900 residents; three churches, three schools, three graveyards, six pubs, one grocery store, and one bank open on Wednesdays for three hours only (including a one-hour lunch break); seals, kelp, thatch rooftops, 10 million rocks. The oldest islander, Bridget Dirrane, lived to be 109 (and would you believe it, Noel said she was JFK's nanny).

I bought these tribal-inspired guardian prints on the island, for a keepsake. I don't know why, but I kind of love them.

We took the ferry back to the mainland, picked up hitchhikers from Chile, France, and Canada, and then saw the cliffs of Moher.

Stunning, yes, but I actually liked the South Stack cliffs of Wales better.

In the evening: McGinn's Pub (Doolin) - Irish stew and a Guinness (or several), because the ferryman insisted that an island Guinness is superior to all others. He's right; I loved it. I also loved the stew. And the ale. And the local Irish-folk band. 

Everybody thought Isaac was all Irish, with his red hair, chilling at the pub listening to the band after 10 pm. He kept walking up to people and saying, I'm Isaac, I speak English, I'm five, I saw a castle.  ♥

The next day we explored by car, making our way through the County Clare on the way back to Dublin. It was simply beautiful - pastureland and forest, castle and cave, all those complimentary colors.

County Clare actually reminded me of Georgia, and I kept thinking we were almost home. It's little wonder that so many people of Irish decent live in the southern Appalachians. And to think in eight short days I will be there with my family!

In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you're really just fine. She asks if you're sure. You say of course you're sure, really, you don't need a thing. Except they pronounce it ting. You don't need a ting. Well, she says then, I was going to get myself some anyway, so it would be no trouble. Ah, you say, well, if you were going to get yourself some, I wouldn't mind a spot of tea, at that, so long as it's no trouble and I can give you a hand in the kitchen. Then you go through the whole thing all over again until you both end up in the kitchen drinking tea and chatting.

In America, someone asks you if you want a cup of tea, you say no, and then you don't get any damned tea.
- C.E. Murphy, Urban Shaman

(... Except in the south, where they don't even ask if you want tea; they just give it to you. This is a different kind of tea though.)

one down on the bucket list

Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.

- Charles Schulz, Peanuts

After a year of persuading myself that yes, I would like to commit to The Marathon Goal, followed by three months of training and accompanying books-on-tape, several recants and re-persuasions, a solo-marathon to prove to myself I could (in fact) do it, and some Nike purchases (which made all the difference)... I have finally accomplished my goal. 

I'm really very happy it's over.

I ran the Ø-Marathon on Thursday (cannonball island marathon, near Copenhagen). It was the most beautiful uncomplicated route I've run yet, half of it on the boardwalk along the coast.

It started out perfectly - sunny, breezy weather, terrific fellow runners who made sure I didn't get myself lost, and an overabundance of nervous excitement melting into instant energy. I started asking myself why it'd taken me so long to do this in the first place.

And then I hit 16 miles and my ankles were getting sore. 20 and my legs felt oh-so-tired. During the final 6 miles and however-many-yards, all I could think was 'WHY THE HELL AM I SO MEAN TO MYSELF?" (I thought the same thing at the end of my solo-marathon, and then I stupidly forgot about it.)  I considered quitting.

But the main thing is ... I am my father's daughter. (I love you dad ;) So I kept going. Nevermind that almost everyone else was on their second marathon of the day and didn't seem nearly as tired as me. One woman, in fact, is running a marathon every day for an entire year (she finishes in July). What do you even say to that?

'Wowwwww. You're going to do this again tomorrow? And the day after that? And the day after that? I might be walking again by then. Maybe.' Or: 'Do you ever wish someone would sit on you, to make you stop?'

When they asked 'when do you run your next marathon?' and I answered 'I don't know that I'm ever doing that again,' they all laughed because they thought I was kidding. I laughed too, because I'm not. (She says, wondering if it's true.) I've been running fairly consistent half-marathons for a couple months now and they finally feel like a comfortable run, but I'm told it can take one or two years before a full marathon feels this way. Can't say I'll ever be that much of a diehard.

If I hadn't moved to Denmark, I doubt the  marathon would've made my bucket list in the first place. So here's to Denmark - cheers!

For now I'm just happy I actually finished. It may have taken a whopping 4.5 hours and a minute (and eternity, in fact I think I'm still running it), but it was worth it. I'm so very proud of my short legs and my funny plastic medal.

Richard: What's a matter? Too old, Chamberlain?
Chamberlain: Of course not.
Richard: Of course not.
Chamberlain: All right, then, I will.
Margaret: How about you?
Richard: Don't be silly.
Susan: Oh Dickie, you must, I want a medal.
Richard (to Chamberlain): Get her a medal.
Chamberlain: Too old, eh?
Richard: What? To run in a sack race? Nothing to it.

- The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer

Take Notice

I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts ... It never occurred to me it wasn’t the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

source

Collage Making

i love making collages. i make them on bulletin boards and in notebooks, using paper scraps : postcards, letters, illustrations, magazine clippings, photographs, what-have-you.
i've been doing it for years, for no reason in particular, although ...

they do inspire my illustrations. i always make the initial sketches on onion skin paper, so they can be recreated as needed. i have accumulated dozens of these transferable sketches, and keep them in a thick yellow binder. truthfully, i often prefer them to the finished work.

sometimes they end up as mixed-media: penned and painted, with dictionary pages, floral stationary prints, journal pieces ... like this.

you are living your story : soon to be on my etsy

the three pieces above have sold, as well as a few different versions of the 'you are living your story' illustration. they were mostly inspired by black and white photographs, like these:

these images are on my pinterest board people.  i cannot find the original sources. please share them if you know.
i think the one on the left may be natalie portman?

the dancing silhouettes are of a slightly different style, however, i'm thinking of redoing them without the mama in the middle, on dictionary pages. thoughts? i'm also always open to custom orders in this style.

there's just something about the process of painting in black and white shapes, writing out fonts, cutting and gluing different paper textures, so on, that is pure fun.

one last thing before i go:

L A D A I S I - I L L U S T R A T I O N S  ||  now on  S O C I E T Y 6

speaking of fun ... it's kind of exciting to see your own doodles on ... stuff.

i recently started a society6 account and wanted to share. which means ...

you can now purchase a couple of my illustrations in various art print sizes, framed or not, on stretched canvas, as pillows and totes, and sometimes as laptop and ipad skins.

i'm just getting started. i will probably add a few mixed-media collages as well, sometime soonish.


 ♥

May 1st : Impromtu Photo Shoot, Elephants, and My Baby

for my family || due to my irrational fear that they will forget what we look like || yes i do really worry about this sometimes || it's an 'opposite side of the pond' thing || we miss you guys ♥

when you live in a studio

all three of you, in the one room ...

things collect, like this, on dresser-tops and window-sills

and there are shoes everywhere

your bedroom is all bed, and closet, and library

and there's only one drawer for all the little things, like underwear and leggings and belts ... so you'll never find that matching sock (in fact, you begin to suspect it doesn't actually exist)

and you may just have to shower in the middle of the bathroom floor,
with woody and buzz and what's-her-name

and your kitchen is literally this size : three baby cabinets, one for spices only, a baby refrigerator, a baby sink, and a hot plate or two

and your art-making spills out over the dining room table (which is also, in turn, an office for two, a fort for a five-year-old, and the occasional laundromat), all opposite your living room (which is just a fancy way of saying 'that sofa over there')

but none of that matters, because in the end ...

blue skies are coming

Firstly, I've got a dreamcatcher winner : Birgit of The Book Garden - congratulations!
The winning comment:

Birgit || April 17, 2013 at 2:12 AM || Hearted your shop

Many thanks to all who entered ♥ I'll be sure to have more, no worries.

Secondly, a little photo collage. Things that make me happy.

sources : mostly found here || books on shelf here || family outside vehicle here || boho girls here || last pic here

Monday Amenities // Post 20

A little link-list (for browsing over Monday morning coffee):

Dove Real Beauty Sketches : You are more beautiful than you think



I loved this. 

Paraphrasing from here: This is a short documentary featuring Gil Zamora, a former forensic sketch artist, who draws portraits of a series of women he can't see guided entirely by their own descriptions of themselves. Each woman was asked to spend one-on-one time with another participant, after which Zamora drew second portraits of the same women based on the other participant's descriptions of them.

Dove made a statement claiming that 'only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful,' and, as the documentary reveals, are their own worst critics when it comes to describing themselves. The second round of portraits - the ones based on a stranger's description - were more beautiful, and more true to the individual.

After seeing both portraits, one participant said, "I should be more grateful of my natural beauty."

"If you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer."


Indie Gift Box  
About: We are a company dedicated to promoting independent artists and small businesses! We curate great items every month and organize them into themed boxes that you can purchase. Our goal is to help you discover new artists and companies, and to help those artists and companies grow their businesses.

You may have heard about this company before, but I only just found out last week and fell in love with the whole concept. Unfortunately it looks like they'll be closing after May unless someone new takes over. This is something I would love to incorporate into my someday-indie-artist-coffeehouse.


Leslie Sabella : art for the free spirited 
Beautiful southwestern and henna inspired illustrations by Leslie Sabella.


NoiseTrade : Free Music
About: Upload an album, EP, single, or live recording. Within minutes your content is available for discovery and download. And it's completely free for both artists and fans.   ... There is some good stuff on here, people. ♥


Fitness Blender
About : 100% free full length workout videos, printable workout routines, healthy recipes, & more.
I've been using the videos to supplement my runs. I especially like the 10 Minute Standing Abs Workout because crunches kill my neck.


10 Amazing Beauty Tricks with Coconut Oil : an interesting read. 
I just started using coconut oil lately, especially as a deep conditioner for my hair. I rub it in before my runs so it gets thirty minutes or more to really soak in and moisturize, and then wash it all out. Gives my hair a nice healthy glow, and is a helluva lot cheaper than buying conditioning products. Apparently I've barely scratched the surface on coconut oil beauty uses. Have you tried any of these 10 'tricks'?

source

Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.  Ella Fitzgerald

A Survivor

BORROWED

You know that feeling you get when the weather begins to change? 
When the air becomes warmer, lighter, easier to breathe, and you feel the sunshine, and hear the seagulls?
When you open doors and windows, and all you want is to be outside in it, awed by the sudden change in yourself?
You're waking up again, so very grateful to be a part of this green earth, so very alive. 
You need to do the things you did the year before, and the year before that, and somehow they still feel new.
Spring-time rituals, reborn.
You must stand outside in blankets at the crack of dawn, just because you can, and take early morning runs to watch the sun come up. You must fall asleep outdoors sometimes, mid-day, in the heat of it all; take barefoot evening walks in the mountains or along the coast - wherever you are, watching that flame in the sky sink down behind purple mountains or into the ocean; explore. Those long drives with the windows down - your music, your golden skin, your hair free in the wind.
You've come out of another long winter, a survivor. 

dreamcatcher giveaway

having a little giveaway this week  ||  4/15-4/22

prize : 5x7 dreamcatcher illustration by yours truly

how to enter (up to three times, if you like):

1. follow ladaisi blog (GFC, bloglovin', or by email)

2. visit ladaisi etsy and favorite (etsy) or like (fb)

3. share about the giveaway 

<<< be sure and leave a comment with your email >>>

♥

 p.s. always accepting custom order dreamcatchers in this style, with your own quote or image idea

if you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely.  - roald dahl

 

studio sunday feature

Guest-posting today over at Chickiedee Handmade, as part of the Studio Sunday Series. I feel so honored to be featured by RobbieLee on her beautiful blog - please stop by and say hi!

sweet dreams, sweetheart

new listings up on the etsy this morning ♥

||  sweet dreams, sweetheart  ||  original illustration by lauren holgate  ||  9x13 watercolor, prismacolor  ||

||  daddy with baby sling  ||   original illustration by lauren holgate  ||  8x10 watercolor, prismacolor  ||

||  mama and baby  ||   original illustration by lauren holgate  ||  8x10 watercolor, prismacolor  ||